Twisted Love
by CrazilyClever
Summary: Not all love is twisted... but this love sure is! Chihiro and Haku realise who their true lovers are and aren't afraid to show it. R & R! Reposted! For all the unlucky people who never got a chance to read it! Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in Spirited Away. However, I do own what's about to go on in this fic, you know!

Hey peeps! Well what can I say… after reading this fic some people may want to hurt me, some may think I'm crazy, some may actually like it. Just depends on the way your mind works ; P

Before I move on, just wanted to say sorry for any grammatical mistakes, spelling errors and all the rest of it...(Everyone makes mistakes, right ;-D)

This is my first story so I decided to go all out! Plus, I wanted to check what my crazy thoughts sounded like on paper….

Here it goes…-gulps-

Chihiro - 18

Kohaku - 19

Kamaji - 153

Yubaba - 182

Haku walked down the crowded halls of the decorated bath house carrying a heavy load of doughnuts, cakes and any other sweeties you can think of.

Haku: Why does that dam baby have to eat so much! And why am I the guy who has to get stuck with bringing the fat tub of lard its breakfast… oh well, I wouldn't be doing this for anybody. The baby is Yubaba's after all, I would do anything to make her happy.

(Would you now Haku? Hmm…are you making her happy to get on her good side, or for something else? Moving on…)

Haku walked slowly and steadily up the stairs, being careful as to not drop any of the huge baby's breakfast.

Haku: Almost there… (Haku thought to himself)

As Haku entered Yubaba's room, he stumbled and fell flat on his face dropping all of the contents in his hands all over the floor. (Haha! He fell ova, he fall ova! I mean…ouch)

Haku: Grrrr! I'm so sorry Yubaba. I didn't mean to drop all of these. Hehe. Gosh, umm… I'll clear up this mess right away.

Yubaba: Well, hurry up with that you hear me! I don't want to keep my precious baby hungry!

Haku: Yes Yubaba. (I love it when she gets angry at me)

Chihiro: Hey Haku! Let me help you with that.

(Aww here comes his sweetest bestest friend here to help him. Too bad she's not what he's after ;0)

Haku stared lovingly in Chihiro's direction. She began to notice this and played with her hair a little bit while trying to hide her rosy red cheeks. She looked into Haku's eyes a bit puzzled but almost with the same loving look. Haku continued to sit there staring…not at Chihiro…but at someone else.

**---------------------------------------Haku's Thoughts-------------------------------------**

Chihiro… She was the human girl around here who I had helped many years ago.

Chihiro… She was quite beautiful, but not as wonderful as the real love of his life.

Chihiro… She wouldn't move her big head out of the way! I'm trying to look at the real vision of beauty in the room.

Yubaba is a goddess in my eyes. Her wrinkles excentuate how graciously old she is. This is one of the things that I love most about her. Mature women are the best kind, and there's nobody more mature than Yubaba. Not only is she really pretty, but she is powerful too. She knows what she wants and wont be afraid to fight for it. What a woman. I love the way her head is larger than my whole body. She is so smart and she hides her brains in that lucious big head of hers. Mmm. And her nose…cute. It's so long that it feels like whenever she is talking to me, it specially points in my very direction. I love to feel special around her. Her eyes, her body, her wart… That fabulous wart. It's so tender and shiny. Whenever I look at her, I see my reflection in her gigantic wart. It makes me feel as if I am one with her. Yubaba the love of my life…

His thoughts were cut short as the loud sounds of a screeching baby awoke him from his daydream. Chihiro quickly snapped out of her drooling face and began to join Haku in picking up the food that he had dropped.

Baby: Waaaah! Mummy where's my food! If I don't get some now I will cry! (Shut up dumb baby or I will turn you into a mouse again…you were cuter as a mouse anyway hehe)

Yubaba: Oh don't worry child, mummy's here. Hush little one, they are bringing the food for you right now… Hurry up you twp!

Chihiro and Haku immediately brought the junk food over to the soon-to-be satisfied baby. The young child grabbed the food and began stuffing his face. Chihiro and Haku soon exited the room.

Chihiro: Umm Haku… We've been friends for a long time haven't we?

Haku: Yes. And I'm glad we're, you know, friends. (I bet you are glad)

Chihiro: Well, I saw that look that you was giving me. And it was so obvious Haku. You blatantly like me and I think it's great that we are taking our relationship to a new level seeing as I, you know, like like you too. (Whoa, slow down girl! Don't jump to conclusions. He did say he's glad you guys are just _friends_)

Haku: (Shocked) Wh…What! Umm, what are you talking about. I wasn't… I mean um.

Chihiro: It's alright Haku. I'm glad you're my boyfriend. He he he.

Chihiro playfully giggled and then shut Haku up with a kiss. She didn't notice that he hadn't returned the kiss at all and was still looking surprised.

Chihiro: Bye bye lover boy.

Chihiro smiled and skipped off to go and do some work. She was pleased that Haku was now her boyfriend as she thought that he was insanely in love with her. (The poor girl has no clue) Haku decided that this was too much for one day so he transformed into a dragon and went out to cool his mind.

**-----------------------------------------1 week later------------------------------------------**

(Ok, let's skip along a bit. For those of you who wanted to know, nothing really special happened in this week which just magically flew by. Well, Haku and Chihiro did build on their relationship a bit, I guess. And erm… what else… oh yeah, Haku still loves Yubaba. Hmm…moving on! WARNING get ready for another shock ;O )

Chihiro was in the boiler room playing with her little friends, the soot balls (I thought those were quite cute too hehe) and talking to the man who had sort of helped her find a job many years ago, Kamaji.

Sootballs: Mip, mip, mip, mip! (They said as they jumped up and down cheerfully… Well I dunno what type of sound they make, hmm maybe it wasn't a good idea to let them speak)

Kamaji: Get back to work you lazy balls! (-cough- that sounded odd…) Jeez…sootballs these days. They really seem to like you Chihiro, but not as much as I d…ahem so how are you?

Chihiro: I'm great thanks. I love watching you work. (If you don't know what multi-tasking is, I suggest watching this guy!) Your so clever and hard-working, it must be hard having to do so many things at once.

Kamaji: Well after a hundred years or more, you kinda get used to it he he. (He chuckled)

**---------------------------------------Chihiro's Thoughts---------------------------------------**

Kamaji was is so talented. He can do so many things at once without breaking a sweat. If it wasn't for him this whole bath house would probably fall apart, yet he does his work so effortlessly but full of care. He must be so strong too. Gosh…he's so hot. I love the way his arms stretch so far. I hope that one day he will wrap his long arms around me. Ah that hansome mustache of his. It's so lovely and bushy, I wonder what it feels like he he. He's bald too, I love it when I can see my reflection in a man's head. It makes me feel so special when I look at him. He's like my knight in shining armour…mmm…Kamaji. Wait, am I drooling? (Oh so now you realise, you fool, he's looking right at you!)

Kamaji: Are you alright Chihiro?

Kamaji's voice was filled with concern. Chihiro had noticed that he was not looking in her eyes but lower… at her neck? No, lower still…She was glad that he had notices her curvaceous body.

Chihiro: Don't worry about me hehe. I'm fine. So, we're here all alone… how about you stop working for a little while eh? (Chihiro said playfully)

Kamaji: Definitely! (You dirty old man…)

Kamaji's eyes were filled with glee. He used his arms to pull Chihiro closer and the two then shared a long passionate kiss. Chihiro felt his hairy mustache rubbing against her cute little nose. She was so happy. The two began playing in the boiler room making a lot of noise. They played games like kiss chase and doctor doctor. It felt like they were two little kids in play school enjoying eachothers company and playing silly games. (Have fun little ones…while you can!)

Meanwhile, in the rest of the bathhouse, everything was beginning to get…cold. Yubaba could not stand for this. She figured that there must have been something wrong with the boiler room, (oooooh they are gonna get caught!) so she called her trusty assistant, Haku, and they went downstairs together to investigate.

When they entered the room they saw Kamaji with his arms wrapped around Chihiro. Two hands were placed on her firm little backside and the others were…elsewhere. The two lovers were sharing eachothers spit while engaged in their toungue licking kiss. (Yuck…)

Haku could not believe what he was seeing. Was this the same Chihiro that he had known for a very long time? (Nope) Was this the same Chihiro who just a week ago somehow forced him to be her boyfriend? (Nope again…) Was this the same Chihiro who had loved him! (Too bad brotha…)

**---------------------------------------Haku's Thoughts---------------------------------------**

I can't believe this! They are kissing right here where anyone could have seen them. This is so repulsive. Why would someone like Chihiro want to be with that old, rusty, crusty, disgraceful, cheap, useless and dirty man. How dare Kamaji stop working just so that he can make out with Chihiro. He must be punished! I'm cold… Hey wait a minute… Chihiro is cheating on me…ME! The hansome Haku who saved her from being turned into one of Yubaba's pets years ago. How can she cheat on me, the precious dragon who glides so freely in the wind. But wait…I can use this to my advantage! Yes, I sure can. For you see, now that Chihiro is cheating on me, I have a reason to dump her! This is great, now I can finally be with my true love Yubaba! The wind Gods must be hovering over me tonight! Woohoo! Im gonna dump her, im gonna dump her, im gonna….hey let me get this over with!

Haku: Chihiro! I can't believe this. How could you do this to me? How could you cheat on me right here in the bath house. I thought you loved me, but now I see that I was wrong.

Chihiro: Could you start again please? Kamaji's lovely mustache was muffling the sound. (How rude, little bi… -cough-)

Haku: What! How dare you! Can't you even see what you are doing? And what gave you the cheek to be so rude to me! You imbasil, you are a waste of my time. Chihiro, I can no longer date you anymore…It's over between us you hear me…OVER! (Go on, you tell her Haku!)

Chihiro: But I… umm and you…I mean , uh this…

Haku: Shut up fool! Slashing wind of the dragon!

Haku used one of the techniques he had tought himself, while flying around in the wind, to dispose of the two idiots. Suddenly, wind from every room, every window and crack in the wall encircled him like he was its master. The wind spun round quickly and strongly. Haku streched his hand forwards in the direction of Kamaji and Chihiro. The gushing wind made a diagonal line and slashed the two sending them flying backwards and knocking them out cold.

Yubaba: That was very unexpected. (She said completely shocked, yet amazed) Where did you learn that technique? It might come in handy some day my dear.

Haku loved the fact that Yubaba called him dear. He also appreciated that she liked the move which he had learnt in his spare time.

Haku: Thank you Yubaba. You know this is all for the best right? I mean if Kamaji and Chihiro weren't caught here we would never be together. I'm glad that those two are out of the way.

Yubaba: So now we can build on our relationship together without any worries. I'm so delighted Haku.

Haku: Me too. Let's get out of here. I want to go and see our beautiful baby. If Chihiro hadn't cheated on me I don't know how I would have told her that your baby was my son. He he. (The baby is Haku's! Well I can see the resemblance…really! ;S Hmm doesn't that mean that Haku and Yubaba…yuck…)

Yubaba: Well honey, she will never have to know now right?

Haku: Right. We will never have to hide our love again.

Yubaba: Promise?

Haku: I promise.

Haku nuzzled Yubaba's neck and she giggled cheekily. They then shared a long kiss and began to exit the room. The two lovers drifted off in the night while cupping hands and gazing into eacother's eyes. Their loved was pure (Was it?) and it would last forever…

So… whaddya think? It's definitely an original. Hope I got a few laughs out there! ;-)

It's meant to be a one shot, so don't expect anymore. Unless I change my mind that is) I kinda think this story suits my pen name, don't you? He he he…

Anyways, enough of the chitchat. Please review my twisted yet so thrilling fic xD

© Copyright 2006 CrazilyClever All rights reserved. Distribution of any kind is prohibited without the written consent of CrazilyClever. (Not that anyone would want to copy it anyway…or would you? ;-0)


	2. Chapter 2

Hope you liked it

R & R please?

© Copyright 2006 CrazilyClever All rights reserved. Distribution of any kind is prohibited without the written consent of CrazilyClever. (Not that anyone would want to copy it anyway…or would you? ;-0)


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